Finding Hope (Mail Order Bride: Brides And Promises Book 1) Read online

  “I suppose I’d best get on and do it,” he muttered, barely reacting as Grace reached across the table and put her hand on his. “I just don’t know how I’m going to get another one.”

  “Maybe we can borrow one from somewhere?” Mary suggested, trying her best to keep their spirits up. “I can take some money from my own funds to buy you a new one, I—”

  “No, Aunt Mary,” Thomas interrupted, slicing the air with his hand. “I’ve already said no, and I want you to stop offering me your money. I already owe you money for this place, and I know you’ve given me it for less than it’s worth. I won’t take advantage of your generosity.”

  Mary clicked her tongue. “Stubborn,” she murmured, sitting back with a sigh. “You know I want to help you, Thomas.”

  “I need to be able to work things out for myself,” he replied, trying to smile. “I do appreciate your kindness though, Aunt Mary. I can’t put you out more than I already have.”

  An idea hit Grace right between the eyes, making her pull in a sharp breath. There was a way she could help Thomas—although, if she offered, then he most likely wouldn’t accept it. There had to be a way she could give him what she wanted to without him being able to say no.

  “Thomas,” she said slowly. “I know you desperately need this plow, maybe—”

  “No point in thinking about it now,” he grunted, shaking his head. “Nothing for it but to just get on with it.” Grace was forced to remain quiet, seeing the agony on his face as he rose from the table, picked up the ax and headed out into the fields without another word. More than anything, she wanted to go with him, but Mary needed her here. There were chores to do and food to prepare and clothes to mend.

  Sighing heavily, Grace put her head in her hands for a moment.

  “Don’t worry about him,” Mary murmured, putting one hand on her arm. “He’ll be all right. He’ll get through this one way or the other.”

  “Mary?” Grace asked abruptly. “Did you say you needed to go to town today?”

  “Yes,” Mary replied slowly, frowning at Grace’s fervency. “Did you need something?”

  “Can I come with you?”

  Mary arched her eyebrows, evidently surprised. “I thought you didn’t want to come to town for a while.”

  Grace nodded. “I didn’t, but I suppose it’s time to get on out there. Besides, I have business that I need to take care of.” The truth was, she’d been hiding from the townsfolk for a while now, worried that George Stubbs might have spread the news about her all through the place. Of course, she’d gone to church with Mary every Sunday, but there was never much time to talk with folk. Now, however, Grace knew she had to be brave. She had to just get on out there and get on with her life. She had no doubt in her mind over what she wanted to do.

  “Well, sure, I’d appreciate the help,” Mary murmured, settling one hand on Grace’s shoulder. “You’ve got a look on your face that tells me you’re up to something though, my girl. Whatever is it?”

  Grace smiled, relief flooding her. “It’s nothing too important. Just a way for me to help Thomas.”

  “Help Thomas?” Mary repeated, her eyes widening. “Grace, don’t go telling me you’re going to be giving your money away.”

  “You can see right through me,” Grace chuckled, seeing Mary’s eyes widen in astonishment. “I have money from the sale of my house, and I want to help Thomas with it.”

  “No, Grace, you can’t!” Mary exclaimed, gesturing wildly. “Didn’t you hear him just now? He won’t take no help from me.”

  “But he didn’t say he wouldn’t take it from me,” Grace replied calmly. “I’ll do what I can to help him, even if it’s just paying off his debts and buying a new plow.” She lifted one eyebrow. “That means debts to you, too, Mary.”

  Mary’s mouth dropped open. “No, Grace, absolutely not. I won’t take your money.”

  “I don’t need it,” Grace replied, with a shrug. “I’m never going to buy my own home again, am I?”

  “Well, no,” Mary replied slowly. “I’ve told you that this is your home now, and I mean it.”

  “So then what’s wrong with me spending my money how I would like?” Grace asked softly, aware that she was backing Mary into a corner. “I want to put it to good use instead of it sitting in a bag in the corner of my room. I don’t need it and Thomas does.”

  Mary shook her head, trying her best to find some kind of reason for Grace not to do what she’d suggested, but coming up with nothing.

  “The good Lord teaches us to share what we have, even if it is with a stubborn farmer like Thomas,” Grace finished, a contentedness filling her soul. “I want to do this, Mary. For him and for you. Please don’t stop me.”

  Mary’s shoulders slumped. “It don’t seem like I can, Grace. You’re mighty generous to two folks you’ve only been with for a month or so, but that just shows me the goodness of your heart.”

  “I’ve learned generosity from you,” Grace replied, getting to her feet and pulling Mary into a hug. “I’d best get on with my chores then before you head off to town. When do you plan to leave?”

  “In an hour or so,” Mary replied with a smile, brushing away a single tear that trickled from the corner of her eye. “But I’m happy to wait for you, Grace. You just take your time.”

  * * *

  It didn’t take Grace too long to finish up her chores in the house, and so, a couple of hours later, Grace found herself in the middle of the small town of Roselake, anxiety rising in her stomach. She hadn’t really met all that many folk yet, and on top of that, she was worried that she was going to meet George Stubbs, even though, most likely, he’d be working hard at his own place.

  Or writing to his next potential bride, Grace thought, a little wryly.

  “Now,” Mary said, as Grace jumped down from the wagon. “Where do you want to go first?”

  Grace chuckled. “Why don’t you just carry on with your errands, and I’ll do a bit of exploring. Wherever there’s something to be paid, I’ll pay it, don’t you worry.”

  Mary laughed, her eyes sparkling. “All right then, I’ll leave you be. I’ll be in the mercantiles when you’re ready.”

  Nodding, Grace made a mental note to make sure nothing needed to be paid for at the mercantiles, and waving at Mary, she began to wander through the small town.

  Thankfully, a few people seemed to recognize her from church, and she spent a fairly pleasant half hour nodding and smiling at people who waved at her. Her anxiety began to settle as she made her way to the blacksmith, hoping he wouldn’t take unkindly to a woman coming to talk to him.

  The blacksmith was a burly-looking older man, with firm, strong shoulders and large hands that were covered in grime. When she told him what she was looking for – a new plow for Thomas – he managed to direct her where to go. Within minutes, Grace had placed and paid for a brand new plow.

  Happiness grew in her heart as she began to make her way back towards the mercantiles, stopping in each of the four other stores and clearing Thomas’ debts in each one. The only place she didn’t go was the saloon, thinking that Thomas could take care of that place on his own. Her heart soared as she left the seamstress’s small shop, glad that she’d been able to relieve the burden Thomas carried.

  She wasn’t doing it because of what they’d shared, nor because of the future he’d held out to her. It wasn’t meant to be a bargaining chip, a way to force his hand to think about matrimony, but simply a gift from one friend to another. Even if he’d never kissed her, even if he’d never looked at her twice, Grace knew she’d have done exactly the same thing because of the friendship that was growing between them.

  There was a love for him and for Mary that drove her to give them what she could, a love that was growing with every single day. She considered them both her own family now, and families helped one another. That was what she was doing. Grace just had to hope that Thomas would understand.

  Walking into the mercantile, Grace smiled at Mary, w
ho was deep in conversation with the shop owner’s wife, before going to speak quietly to the shopkeeper himself. Within minutes, the debt was cleared. Grace folded up the receipt carefully and put it in her pocket.

  “If I’d known you had money then I’d not have turned you down so fast!”

  Her spine stiffened, her skin prickling with fright as she closed her eyes tightly, fighting to keep her composure.

  “Mr. Stubbs,” she murmured, not turning around to look at him as her fingers tightened together as she clasped her hands in front of them. “How are you?”

  He cleared his throat gruffly. “Truth be told, I’m thinking I might have made a mistake with you, Grace.”

  Managing to look at him, Grace lifted one eyebrow. “I beg your pardon?”

  “I’ve heard about your cooking and the like,” he said, scratching his dark brown hair and squinting down at her. “Mary says it’s the best she’s ever tasted, and now, here you are, paying for something with money I didn’t know you had!”

  Grace swallowed hard, a bad taste filling her mouth. “You want to marry me because I have money of my own?”

  “Well, it will be my money when we marry, won’t it?” he replied, with a chuckle. “Besides, spending all this time writing to ladies who won’t have me is getting a little tiresome.” He looked her up and down, chewing on his lip for a moment. “Reckon we should just pick up where we left off.”

  Grace flushed, lifting her chin. “I’m sorry, Mr. Stubbs, but our arrangement came to an end when you left me at the train station.”

  He frowned. “You lied to me.”

  “I made an error in judgment in sending you that picture, yes, but I never dreamt that you would base our marriage simply on appearances,” she retorted, anger beginning to spike deep within her. “But in a way, I’m glad you did that. It made me realize the kind of man you are, and I can see now that we’d never have suited.”

  His frown deepened, his dark eyes narrowing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I am more than just how I look,” Grace replied firmly. “My character, skills, and talents make me who I am. I don’t need a man who doesn’t see me as I truly am.”

  George Stubbs let out a harsh laugh, shaking his head. “You’ll never find anyone to wed you! You’re living in a dream, Miss Grace.”

  A slow smile spread across Grace’s face. “That may be the case, but I know myself now. I know that I have worth. So, no, Mr. Stubbs, I will not be looking to marry you.” She glanced over towards Mary, who—catching her eye—frowned and began to make her way towards her. “You see, Mr. Stubbs, I have my own family now. I don’t need another one.”

  George Stubbs spat once, hard, on the floor, making the shopkeeper shout with anger. Grace did not move, nor did she react. Instead, she kept her gaze steady and her expression firm until, without another word, George Stubbs turned his back on her and left the mercantile.

  “Goodness!” Mary exclaimed, catching a hold of Grace’s arm. “Is everything all right? Wasn’t that George Stubbs?”

  “Yes, it was,” Grace replied, surprised at just how calm she felt. “He wanted to marry me—apparently.”

  Mary stared at her for a moment, taken aback. “Marry you?” she repeated, hoarsely. “Why?”

  “Apparently, it’s getting tiresome writing to potential brides who don’t return his letters,” Grace replied dryly. “And also, he didn’t realize I had money of my own.” She shook her head and gave a small laugh. “I think he believed I’d be so desperate to have a husband of my own that I’d agree straight away.”

  “But you didn’t, I hope?”

  “Of course not,” Grace answered, pressing Mary’s arm. “I told him I have a family of my own now. I told him that I was more than just the money I had, that I had my own worth that I knew he didn’t see.”

  Mary smiled, her eyes filling with tears. “You have so much worth, Grace,” she replied softly. “I’m glad you can see that now.”

  Grace smiled, her own eyes shimmering with tears. “It’s only thanks to you and Thomas,” she said honestly. “It’s all thanks to you. You’ve done so much for me, Mary.”

  “That’s because we’re family now,” Mary replied stoutly, brushing her fingers over her eyes. “And don’t you go forgetting it!”

  Grace hugged Mary tightly, her heart lifting with happiness. George Stubbs couldn’t offer her anything that would be in any way better than what she already had. Absolutely nothing could compare to the home she’d found with Mary and Thomas. Nothing at all.

  11

  Thomas sighed heavily, passing one hand over his eyes. Things were not working out in the way he had hoped, and now he was struggling to see a way forward.

  The plow breaking had made his future now rather bleak. Without his plow, he could not break up the ground to remove the large stones from it, which meant the ground would not be prepared for the planting come the springtime. He could not even plow the fields that had produced a crop for him last year, given that he’d left them to do once the other fields had been cleared.

  No crops meant no income.

  No money meant that he’d have to sell part of his farm just to try and get back on his feet.

  Yes, Aunt Mary had offered to help him, but Thomas knew she needed that money. She’d already given him a heavy discount on the farm and he hadn’t managed to finish paying off the rest of what he owed her either. Not only that, but with Grace around, she’d need the money she had to take care of them both for the foreseeable future.

  Grace.

  That was another matter altogether. Thomas had seen the pain in her eyes when he’d practically gone to pieces in front of her, seen the sympathy and compassion in her expression. She was so sweet and so loving – but he should never have kissed her. Not when he couldn’t offer her anything.

  A man without any kind of income or any kind of future wasn’t able to offer even marriage to a lady like Grace, and he certainly wouldn’t ask her to wait for him. Even he couldn’t tell just how long he’d have to wait or just how much of his farm he’d have to sell before he could get back to rights.

  Groaning, Thomas slammed one hand down on the table and ordered another whisky.

  It was not often that he came to town and certainly never to the saloon, but he wanted to lose himself for a while, and this was the only place he had thought to come. Grace and Aunt Mary would have to excuse him for dinner. They hadn’t been in when he’d stopped by earlier, but he’d left a note to let them know he’d not be around this evening.

  A huge part of him had been disappointed not to see Grace. He wished that he could have looked into her eyes and believed that everything was going to work itself out, but she’d been absent. That had only added to his pain, forcing him to return back to the quiet loneliness of his small, wooden cabin, where his accounts and ledgers sat, silently mocking him.

  He had no money and debts in almost every part of town. He had no money to put towards those debts, and now with his plow unusable, he wouldn’t be able to pay them off for a long time. A man with debts and a burden on his back was no kind of husband. Especially not for someone like Grace.

  “She said no! She refused me!”

  Taking his whisky from the bartender, Thomas tried not to listen to the loud mutterings coming from behind him, although he couldn’t help but overhear.

  “I said to her we had an agreement, but she told me that agreement was over the minute I walked away from her. Stupid woman! With a face like hers, it’s not like she’s going to be finding herself another husband any time soon. She’ll regret this.”

  Thomas’ stomach tightened. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw none other than George Stubbs sitting at one of the tables, throwing back a measure of whisky. His two companions – neither of whom Thomas knew – were sitting quietly by him, murmuring condolences under their breath.

  This was the man Grace had been meant to marry. What was he talking about now?

  “Stupid, ugly woman,
” George Stubbs muttered, slamming his glass back on the table. “And this still leaves me without a wife.”

  “How abouts that young thing that looks after your children when you’re out here drinking?” one of his friends said, with a heavy wink.

  George snorted, his lip curling. “She’s already engaged to some young farmer.”

  Thomas got up from his chair, unable to stop himself from joining in the conversation.

  “Did you say you were the one who was meant to marry Grace?”

  George Stubbs frowned, looking up at Thomas suspiciously as he leaned on the table. “Yes, although what’s it to you?”

  “I just thought I’d tell you just what you’ve missed out on,” Thomas replied, glaring at the man. “Grace is a beautiful soul. She is selfless, loving, and kind. You’ve missed out there.” Satisfied that he had defended Grace’s honor, Thomas made to step away, only for George Stubbs to grasp his arm.

  “Oh, so you’re the one she’s staying with,” George said, slowly, his eyes narrowing. “I wondered where she’d got to.”

  “She stays with my aunt,” Thomas replied, shaking off George’s hand. “So don’t get it into your head that she’s ever coming back to you. I can guarantee she ain’t.”

  George Stubbs growled, his eyes dark. “Then good riddance to her. It was a stupid mistake to ask her again.”

  Thomas raised his eyebrows, surprised at what Stubbs had revealed. “You asked her to marry you again?”

  “This afternoon, not that it’s any of your business.” Stubbs tilted his head, looking Thomas up and down. “Not that she agreed, mind you. Maybe she’s already getting what she needs from you.”

  Thomas’ fist shot out without him even thinking, hitting George square across the nose. The man let out a howl of pain and fell backward, his chair tipping over. His two friends rose from the table, one getting George back on his feet and the other squaring up to Thomas.

  “I won’t have no fighting in here!” the barman shouted, clearly worried they were going to start a brawl. “Take it outside!”